Life itsels is already complicated enough by itself, yet a lot of people know countless ways to make it even more complicated. Whenever you feel you are having a hard time, the following five suggestions might help you to make life a bit easier. Some of them can be easily implemented right away, others might take some practise.

1. Do what you like to do most. Whenever you spend a considerable amount of your days on things you don’t like or even hate, something is wrong. Very wrong. Doing things you don’t like affects your emotional state of mind like an unhealthy diet affects your physical well-being.
2. Keep it simple. People very often make situations much more complicated than they actually are. Whenever you feel like you ended up in a complicated situation, try to look at your problem from ‘above’. What do you see? What is the problem that requires a solution? The problem that requires a solution is the only problem relevant. Whatever can’t be solved, is not a problem.
3. Accept things the way they are. Problems that can’t be solved, are usually not problems but facts. A lot of people mix them up, and have an extremely difficult time because they try to fix something that can’t be fixed, solve something that is not a problem or refuse to believe something that is an absolute truth. One warning: A lot of people also easily believe they can’t solve something anyway, despite it being a problem. Don’t give up too easily!
4. Forgive and move on. Lives are being ruined because of hate and anger. I am certainly not telling you that you have to accept everything people do to you, but at some point, hate and anger don’t serve any other purpose than your pride.
5. Be aware. This might be the hardest, yet most important item in this post. Be aware of what is going on around you, be aware of your own role, attitude and thinking process. By simply analyzing the way you handle a difficult situation, you can learn so much about yourself. Being aware about yourself is a big step in the process of living an easier life.

I’m really curious to figure out how you make things easier for yourself once things become difficult. Don’t hesitate to drop a comment!

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As a frequent reader of HowToLiveWow.com, you probably know that I am working on a book with the similar title and purpose. Over the past weeks, I received several questions about the book so I decided to give you a little update!

I am currently half way writing the content, half way doing the design and half way planning the interviews with inspiring young people. To do so, I found a great piece of software that helps me to organize content and at the same time keep good overview of what’s been done, and what’s still left to do. It’s called Scrivener, by the way.

At the same time, I am still eager to find a publisher here in the Netherlands, both for publication abroad as well as locally. Surprisingly, I’ve been approached by a publisher based over 3,000 kilometers away from here, and I am looking forward to see where this is going. If you happen to be a curious book publisher, drop me a line ;-)

The #1-question by far: When is it coming out? My current goal is to launch the book before the new school year starts in the beginning of September! So, from now on, I have 176 days to go for the launch. I think I have about 120 days left to write and design the book, and need the other 56 days to proof-read and get the first books off the print!

If you would like to get an email notification as soon as you can order the book, please subscribe for alerts right below!

To everyone who contributed to the book so far, both with direct feedback as well as by commenting on this website: a BIG thank you!

The other day I had a discussion with a friend about exercising. Since a couple of months, I exercise at the gym at least 1-2 times a week. I decided to go to gym because it is something you can do everywhere, both at your local sports club, as well as in hotels and even at home. In this post, I would like to tell you about the benefits of regular exercise.

First of all, it doesn’t matter if you go to the gym, swim, run or play football, basketball or another team sport. What matters, is that you give your body a physical impulse on a regular basis – let’s say 2-3 times a week. To achieve considerable results, there is no need to work out 4-5 times a week for several hours a day.

Very often, I hear people say: “I don’t have time for that”. You might not have time because your work consumes your entire agenda, and you have a social- and family life on top of that. Let me tell you this: The investment of exercising 2-3 hours a week contributes so much to your mental concentration, your sleep cycle, your physical fitness and your overall ability to perform, that it’s worth the investment multiple times. You can simply handle more, in a shorter time, and still feel good afterwards.

It is good for your body. Regular exercise strengthens your heart muscle and your blood vains. It also improves your digestion and metabolism. It strengthens your muslces, decreasing the chance of injury. There is a complete consencus amongst scientists that regular exercise simply prevents you from a lot of disease, increasing the chances to live a longer, healthier life. It will also help you to sleep better, especially when you stick to a reasonable diet. Ask a professional at your gym or sports club, or your family doctor for advise!

It is good for your mind. According to research by the Dutch Trimbos Institute, people who exercise 2-3 times a week have a 50% smaller chance to develop mental problems such as addiction or depression. Those who do experience mental unstability, recover considerably faster on average than people who do not exercise on a regular basis. After a training session, your body produces hormones like serotonin, endorphin and testosteron (mainly with men, but also with women), that all make you feel good.

Some advise to go ahead:

1. Start to consider it as something crucial. Lack of time cannot be an excuse
2. Ask yourself: What do I want to achieve? Do you want to lose weight? Improve your physical condition? Want to feel better mentally?
3. Think of the sport you would like to do most. Try different things. Most sports clubs offer a free trial, so take advantage of that!
4. Ask a professional at your sports club of your family doctor for advise when you have no experience. They can do all sorts of tests to determine the best way forward for you. This helps you to avoid injuries and gives you the fastest way to achieve your goals
5. Hold on! Plan it in your agenda. Stick to it. Go with friends. Commit yourself. Reward yourself for going. Do everything possible to make sure you stick to the discipline

Personally, I never considered myself a sports person. But as soon as I went, I started to experience the positive effects instantly. Since I exercise one, two and sometimes three times in a week (in various forms), I feel better physically, can handle more emotionally, sleep better and find it much easier to achieve other goals in life.

Photo by johnnyberg

Our brain. It’s the most fascinating organ in our body. While the heart, liver and lungs are more or less well-understood by science, the brain keeps surprising us, both physically as well as what is is capable of on a level of thought and, even more, subconsciously. In line with this blog, it is the final organ that determines whether something is ‘Wow!’. But the brain isn’t faultless. It has some very interesting glitches. Fortunately, some of these glitches can be beaten or even used in your very advantage! I’ll tell you how!

First of all, let me credit Nikki, who posted the blog Top 10 Common Faults In Human Thought to Listverse.com. This blog inspired me to write this post for you. I will briefly quote from that blog, and only made a selection of three out of ten. If you would like to read more, check out the original blog posting!

Self-fulfilling prophecy

Self-fulfilling prophecy is engaging in behaviors that obtain results that confirm existing attitudes. A self-fulfilling prophecy is a prediction that causes itself to become true. A common example can be found in relationships: “I think my relationship with my significant other is going to fail, so I start acting differently, pulling away emotionally”. Because of your actions, you actually cause the relationship to fail. Economic recessions are self-fulfilling prophecies. Because a recession is 2 quarters of Gross Domestic Product (GDP) decline, you cannot know you are in a recession until you are at least 6 months into one. Unfortunately, at the first sign of decreasing GDP, the media reports a possible recession, people panic and start a chain of events that actually cause a recession.

A self-fulfilling prophecy is great when it’s in your favour. But if it’s not, simply reject the prophecy and focus on a more positive prediction. When the first signs of an economic crisis appeared on the surface, back in 2008, I right away declared that I am not going to take part in it and that I will even aim to benefit from it. So far, that prophecy indeed fulfilled itself!

Escalation of commitment

Escalation of commitment is the tendency for people to continue to support previously unsuccessful endeavors. With all the decisions people have to make, it is unavoidable that some will be unsuccessful. Of course, the logical thing to do in these instances is to change that decision or try to reverse it. However, sometimes individuals feel compelled not only to stick with their decision, but also to further invest in that decision because they have sunk costs. For example, say you use half of your life savings to start a business. After six months, it is evident that the business is going to be unsuccessful. The logical thing to do would be to cut your losses and drop the business. However, due to the sunk costs of your life savings, you feel committed to the business and invest even more money into the project hoping that the additional cash will turn the business around.

A good way to avoid to get trapped in escalation of commitment is to gather a group of three to five knowledgable people and ask for their opinion. For example, when your business adventure is not going so well and you feel in your guts that it is about to fail (which is often the case), ask a group of successful entrepreneurs for their judgement. If they agree in (overwhelming) majority, face the facts and shut it down, despite the losses. Obviously, if unexperienced people without any credibility tell you to stop doing whatever you feel is right, this advise does not apply!

Placebo effect

The placebo effect, which has a lot in common with the self-fulfilling prophecy, is when an ineffectual substance that is believed to have healing properties produces the desired effect. Especially common with medications, the placebo effect has been observed when individuals given a sugar pill for a real ailment report improvement. Placebos are still a mystery. It is theorized that placebos cause a so-called expectancy effect (in cases of uncertainty, expectation is what is most likely to happen). Individuals expect the pills to cure their disease, so they feel cured. However, this does not explain how the ineffectual pills actually cause a reduction in symptoms. The term ‘placebo’ is used when the outcomes are considered favorable, when the outcomes are negative or harmful; the term is ‘nocebo’.

You can actually use the placebo effect in your very own favor. A good example of this is the so-called Law Of Attraction, which basically says that like attracts like. If you set your mind to a certain wish, concept or idea and focus upon it, you will materialize it. Because you ‘believe’ in the ‘healing properties’ of your mental placebo, your thoughts and following actions will actually contribute (often significantly, in my personal case) to materializing whatever was on your mind.

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Happy New Year, everyone! A new year and a new decade have begun and in line with the Law of Attraction, I can feel that 2010 is going to be an awesome year. As every year, great things will happen, as well as terrible things will happen in the world. In our personal lives, we will also face some unpleasant moments. Knowing that these moments will be inevitable, you can take some action to strengthen your immune system.

Traditionally, people list one or more new year’s resolutions; things they want to achieve or do in the new year, such as losing weight, quitting smoking, making that trip to a far away land or making a carreer move, for example. But research has shown that those resolutions are often not working out. Personally, I’d go for goals and plans instead!

Work on personal development

Growing yourself by spending time on personal development is likely to help you to deal with difficult situations easier.Knowing who you are, what you stand for, what your weak spots are and how to improve them, bringing stability in your life and live it healthy and consciously will build you the strenght to deal with challenges easier, and to put bad news into perspective.

Your PCP (Personal Crisis Plan)

The PCP is the crisis plan of your personal life, and relates to your inner circle. Companies often analyze their risks and try to prepare for any possible crisis scenario, so why wouldn’t you do that in your own life? Unless you would feel comfortable with it, I would not recommend to write it down, but to run the scenario in your head. Go through possible scenarios in your life; you get dumped by your boy- or girlfriend, a loved one dies, you lose your job, you fall ill. All scenarios no one is looking forward to, but they are likely to happen to all of us at some point in our lives. Look into all possible scenarios you consider relevant in your life and imagine how you would deal with it, and what it actually means. Obviously, there is no way to simulate the feeling of losing a loved one, for example, but it might help you to grow emotionally. Ask yourself that famous question in every scenario: What’s the worst that can happen? What are the consequences? How will it affect me? How can I deal with it?

Important note: Don’t spend too much time thinking about these scenarios. That could make you feel depressed, and that’s the least thing we want, don’t we?

Reduce your news consumption or change your perception

For sure, the year 2010 will bring us bad news on the world stage – your outer circle. Famous people will die, nature disasters will almost inevitably kill many, terrorist will strike and terrible, hidden acts of violence will reach the surface. Not the most optimistic vision of 2010, but realistically we can assume these things will happen – simply because they happen every year. A lot of people feel they have to be updated on the latest news nearly 24/7. If you are like that, you need to know one important thing about journalism: It’s by definition subjective, as journalists only select a small part of all available information to present to you, and bad news is more likely to make it through that selection than good news. Do not use the news to build a complete perception of what the world is like. A lot of good news happens, even as you read this, but it will never come under your attention. Reduce your news consumption if you feel it affects your mood, or pro-actively search for good-news stories!

Important note: I am not recommending you to close your eyes for the bad news that happens in our world, but to open up your eyes and ears to the good things that happen all the time!

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I’m a curious guy. But of all questions I can ask, there is one specific question I often ask to people. It’s a question that sometimes leads to a clear answer, but very often the person I’m asking the question didn’t even think about it. Sometimes, I catch myself not being able to answer: Why do you do what you do?

Sometimes when I talk about personal development to a group of people, to a friend or a relative, I get the question: “Why would I make a conscious effort to aim for my highest potential?”

I gave this a good thought, especially because I like to know what moves people to do or not do certain things. First of all, it is important to know that personal development only works when you are actually willing to experience it and to put effort into it. There are plenty of excuses why you would not aim for your highest potential. If you are happy and satisfied under the current circumstances and feel at ease with yourself, I would still encourage but certainly not urge you to extensively focus on personal development. It simply doesn’t work under pressure.

But if you are open-minded towards bringing yourself to a higher level, conscious personal development – we all develop ourselves unconsciously, all the time – can pay off instantly. By consciously aiming for your highest potential, you will likely find out that you are capable of much more than you thought. You will start turning dreams you’ve never thought could become reality into concrete plans, and achieve goals easier, while enjoying it more. Achieving goals also gives satisfaction and positive energy. And finally, aiming for your highest potential is life isn’t much different from what professional sportsmen and -women do. By trial and error, as well as by training yourself you become better at what you’re doing, making life even easier. Eventually, it is likely to make you a happier person.

Remember you don’t have to reach the top of the ladder right away! Every attempt to do so starts with a first step. Make that step today, no matter how small it is!

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This blog post is a very personal one. It is my vision, my belief. I am actually writing this blog post from the balcony of my hotel room with ocean view, from where I can hear guitar sounds and singing people on the street as waves hit the shores. Being on holiday made me think about holiday…

In western society, most people only have a couple of weeks a year to enjoy a relaxing holiday, during which they are supposed to recharge physically and emotionally. Disappointment strikes as after a week back in business, the holiday feels like an event long gone. You must have heard the following line, if not from your own mouth: “Uff, back at work just a week and I already feel like I can use another holiday.”

Why is that so? Why is the effect of a holiday so minimal for many people? I gave it a thought, and I think I figured it out: Most people switch off!

You go on holiday, try to think as little as possible about… well, anything. You just try to relax, while keeping your brain clear from thoughts, fully focusing on food and drinks, the beach, the pool side and good-looking people that pass by. You switch of your system, and as soon as you get back to work, you switch it back on… To find yourself in the same state as you were before you shut it down.

I spend my holidays doing the same things as most people do – eating, drinking, sunbathing, swimming, exploring new places… But at the same time, I think. I think a lot! I use my holidays to reflect on my life, to find out what I enjoy and what I’d like to change. I literally look at my daily life from a distance to figure out if I’m still at the right track. I keep notes, scribble down rough ideas that pop up in my mind and organize my thoughts. When I get back and engage in day-to-day routine again, I am not just more energetic because I took a physical rest, I also feel happier, more organized and more focused.

This might work for you as well, or not. All I would like to recommend you is to spend some time consciously thinking about the way you spend your holidays so you can find the most effective way to spend those few precious weeks a year. A more effective holiday can literally change your life forever!

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In the research for my book, I’ve been reading a lot about the science behind happiness. I especially enjoyed Richard Wiseman’s 59 Seconds; Think A Little, Change A Lot. Partly inspired by the research he quotes from and based on the feedback I got after the previous post Describing Your Best Possible Future, I would like to share with you three more ways to increase your happiness that are backed by scientific research.

Buy experiences instead of goods

According to psychologists Leaf Van Boven and Thomas Gilovich, experiences make people more happy than goods. To verify their hypothesis, they conducted two experiments. In the first experiment, they asked people about an object or experience they had bought in order to improve their happiness, and how effective it had been. The second was to ask one group to think about an object and another group to think about a holiday. They were both then asked to mark their current mood on an 8-point scale.

There was clear proof that those who had thought of experiences instead of possessions were much happier. They believe the reason behind this is that one gets used to objects easily, and that the self-esteem from objects soon disappears. On the other hand, we tend to remember the positive elements in positive experiences, and often forget about the negative aspects that were part of the positive experience (a plane delay, a flat tire, the hang-over the day after).

Give

Research shows over and over again that people who give are significantly happier than those who keep most of what they have for themselves. Elizabeth Dunn from the University of British Columbia found that people who got spent their work bonus on others were more happy than those who invested the money in themselves. To proof that giving makes people happy, rather than concluding that happy people simply give more, two groups of randomly selected people were given envelopes with money. One group was asked to spend it on themselves, the other group was asked to spend it on others. Those who spent the money on family and friends were more happy than those who bought luxury goods for themselves. Neuro-scientists have even proven that there is a natural connection in our brain that links giving to happiness!

Change your physical state

Countless scientists have come to the conclusion that changing your physical state or appearance has a significant influence on your performance and emotions. Not only did they ask people to do math tests in various positions (laid-back, sitting up, standing, etc.), they also asked them how they felt while doing it. The conclusions were stunning; those who were asked to sit up or stand performed better, and actually felt better and happier! Your emotions can often be read from your appearance, why not the other way around! So, change your physical state even though you don’t feel well – a good chance you feel much better!

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Take a moment today to sit down and briefly describe your best possible future. Imagine everything goes exactly the way you want, realistically. Also make sure it’s brief enough to put it in your pocket or wallet, so you can carry it around.

Researcher Laura King from the Southern Methodist University found out, in a study called The Health Benefits of Writing About Life Goals, that those who described their best possible future ended up significantly happier after three months than people who were asked to do the same with a traumatic experience, or even by just writing down their plans for the day.

Describing your best possible future will not only be likely to make you a happier person, it also challenges you to actually think about what you want your life to look like and makes you consciously thinking about how to achieve that state.

Photo by asifthebes

Whenever you have a goal to achieve, big or small, it often requires resources. You need time, money or knowledge. Or, more abstract, you need support, encouragement or love. In this post, I’d like to share some common but nevertheless powerful knowledge with you about the resources you need to to succeed in achieving your goals.

Almost every successfully achieved goal consists of three crucial elements:

1. Defining the crystal clear goal. I wrote several posts about defining goals in your life, and finding purpose. Core of the matter: Whatever goal you want to achieve, describe it in detail. What does it look like? How does it feel? What does the world look like once you have achieved your goal?

2. Obtaining the resources you need. Before taking action, most people already decided for themselves that they simply do not have the right resources. But that is not what it’s about. It’s not about not having the money, time, knowledge, skills, etc. It’s about your current inability to obtain them. Stop and think about this for a moment. Is there really no money? There is plenty of it, and it’s out there! Do you really not have the time? You have the same amount of time every day as Einstein, Shakespeare and Edison; 24 hours! Don’t have the skills? There are other people out there with the skills, and they managed to obtain them. If you lack the skills yourself, find people who have them and find out how they did it. Looking at resources in this way can give you the radical new insights you need to achieve your goal!

3. The absolute desire and motivation to achieve it. I am sorry not to remember where, but recently I read this amazing quote: “No man was ever taking a walk in the mountains and suddenly found himself at the top of Mount Everest.” It’s very true, and applies to nearly every big goal. If you don’t clearly define the exact ‘location’ you want to arrive at, you won’t get there.

Even the cure to incurable disease is out there – we just haven’t found the cure yet. Despite the fact that we are still struggling, as a people, with the spread of HIV and aids, and that some other diseases can still not be cured, we managed to cure almost every major disease or found ways to reduce the chance of becoming sick to a minimum, because we have an absolute desire to cure these diseases. And it is because that desire that we already found a cure to most diseases. The only exception I can think of is time in this matter; A person with an incurable disease might not have the time to wait for a cure. But thankfully, this urgency also encourages the medical masterminds of this world to keep up on their good work.

The only real challenge is to obtain love. Because despite the fact that there are people out there who you can love, and who can love you, the place where those emotions are being given and received is not out there. It’s inside of you. And whether you would like to give someone the unconditional love he or she deserves, or receive it from someone, it requires you to be at ease with yourself. You really have to love yourself before you can love someone else.

Whatever you need to achieve your goal, ask yourself: Is it out there?

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