I’m a curious guy. But of all questions I can ask, there is one specific question I often ask to people. It’s a question that sometimes leads to a clear answer, but very often the person I’m asking the question didn’t even think about it. Sometimes, I catch myself not being able to answer: Why do you do what you do?

Sometimes when I talk about personal development to a group of people, to a friend or a relative, I get the question: “Why would I make a conscious effort to aim for my highest potential?”

I gave this a good thought, especially because I like to know what moves people to do or not do certain things. First of all, it is important to know that personal development only works when you are actually willing to experience it and to put effort into it. There are plenty of excuses why you would not aim for your highest potential. If you are happy and satisfied under the current circumstances and feel at ease with yourself, I would still encourage but certainly not urge you to extensively focus on personal development. It simply doesn’t work under pressure.

But if you are open-minded towards bringing yourself to a higher level, conscious personal development – we all develop ourselves unconsciously, all the time – can pay off instantly. By consciously aiming for your highest potential, you will likely find out that you are capable of much more than you thought. You will start turning dreams you’ve never thought could become reality into concrete plans, and achieve goals easier, while enjoying it more. Achieving goals also gives satisfaction and positive energy. And finally, aiming for your highest potential is life isn’t much different from what professional sportsmen and -women do. By trial and error, as well as by training yourself you become better at what you’re doing, making life even easier. Eventually, it is likely to make you a happier person.

Remember you don’t have to reach the top of the ladder right away! Every attempt to do so starts with a first step. Make that step today, no matter how small it is!

Photo by clcochrane

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Take a moment today to sit down and briefly describe your best possible future. Imagine everything goes exactly the way you want, realistically. Also make sure it’s brief enough to put it in your pocket or wallet, so you can carry it around.

Researcher Laura King from the Southern Methodist University found out, in a study called The Health Benefits of Writing About Life Goals, that those who described their best possible future ended up significantly happier after three months than people who were asked to do the same with a traumatic experience, or even by just writing down their plans for the day.

Describing your best possible future will not only be likely to make you a happier person, it also challenges you to actually think about what you want your life to look like and makes you consciously thinking about how to achieve that state.

Photo by asifthebes

Whenever you have a goal to achieve, big or small, it often requires resources. You need time, money or knowledge. Or, more abstract, you need support, encouragement or love. In this post, I’d like to share some common but nevertheless powerful knowledge with you about the resources you need to to succeed in achieving your goals.

Almost every successfully achieved goal consists of three crucial elements:

1. Defining the crystal clear goal. I wrote several posts about defining goals in your life, and finding purpose. Core of the matter: Whatever goal you want to achieve, describe it in detail. What does it look like? How does it feel? What does the world look like once you have achieved your goal?

2. Obtaining the resources you need. Before taking action, most people already decided for themselves that they simply do not have the right resources. But that is not what it’s about. It’s not about not having the money, time, knowledge, skills, etc. It’s about your current inability to obtain them. Stop and think about this for a moment. Is there really no money? There is plenty of it, and it’s out there! Do you really not have the time? You have the same amount of time every day as Einstein, Shakespeare and Edison; 24 hours! Don’t have the skills? There are other people out there with the skills, and they managed to obtain them. If you lack the skills yourself, find people who have them and find out how they did it. Looking at resources in this way can give you the radical new insights you need to achieve your goal!

3. The absolute desire and motivation to achieve it. I am sorry not to remember where, but recently I read this amazing quote: “No man was ever taking a walk in the mountains and suddenly found himself at the top of Mount Everest.” It’s very true, and applies to nearly every big goal. If you don’t clearly define the exact ‘location’ you want to arrive at, you won’t get there.

Even the cure to incurable disease is out there – we just haven’t found the cure yet. Despite the fact that we are still struggling, as a people, with the spread of HIV and aids, and that some other diseases can still not be cured, we managed to cure almost every major disease or found ways to reduce the chance of becoming sick to a minimum, because we have an absolute desire to cure these diseases. And it is because that desire that we already found a cure to most diseases. The only exception I can think of is time in this matter; A person with an incurable disease might not have the time to wait for a cure. But thankfully, this urgency also encourages the medical masterminds of this world to keep up on their good work.

The only real challenge is to obtain love. Because despite the fact that there are people out there who you can love, and who can love you, the place where those emotions are being given and received is not out there. It’s inside of you. And whether you would like to give someone the unconditional love he or she deserves, or receive it from someone, it requires you to be at ease with yourself. You really have to love yourself before you can love someone else.

Whatever you need to achieve your goal, ask yourself: Is it out there?

Photo by dottordoom

Einstein once defined insanity: Doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. Whenever you want to see a different result, a positive change, an improvement in your performance or realization of your goals… you have to do something different from whatever you are currently doing!

A lot of people complain about their situation, whether it’s about work, their relationship or achieving a goal. Think about a goal which you have been wanting to achieve, while you experienced no or limited success. Then, answer the following questions by writing them down on a piece of paper:

1. What is your goal? Try to describe it in one sentence for the sake of clarity towards yourself.
2. What have you been doing to achieve this goal so far?
3. Why do you feel or think you haven’t been able to reach your goal?
4. How can you revise your strategy? What can you do differently moving forward? For example, look at the people who have been successful in achieving the same goal. What did they do? Often, the same actions lead to the same results! Can you put more effort in your existing steps? Any new things you can try out?
5. Carry out this new strategy you have designed.
6. Review it a few weeks or months from now to measure its effectiveness. If the changes in results are limited, then repeat steps 1-5 as you review your strategy. If you haven’t been able to get the results you want, it just means that the strategy you have been adopting is not on-point. Keep changing it until you finally achieve the results you want!

Part of my job is to run the highly popular website of the Eurovision Song Contest, which attracts millions of people every year. By frequently looking into the site’s statistics, actively ask for feedback and look at other successful websites, we continuously try to improve the website. Sometimes that requires very small changes, such as a different font or a slightly different color. Sometimes, it requires to adapt our strategy. But every small and big change helps us to reach more people and to strengthen the brand! Life is not much different!

Photo by zoostory, blog inspired by Celestine Chua

A friend of mine told me the other day: “I am looking for my passion.” She has no idea what to do in terms of work, and that makes it hard to find a job, not even mentioning how hard it is to find a nice job. It made me think about passion in general – doing something you really love to do. Successful people found their passion, because it was passion for something that made them go further than the others, becoming the #1 in their expertise.

Passion is one of the strongest emotions that drive us. It’s made up of desire to do something, enthusiasm once you are doing it and a great deal of satisfaction once done. You could do it all day long and in case of work, you probably won’t even notice it is actually work you’re doing. It can be life transforming once you know what you really want in life instead of going with the flow.

Your family might recognize your passion

By the time I realized what some of my greatest passions are, I could direct them back to my early childhood years. It was my grandpa used to say that I should become town-crier. Though this profession has become redundant, I have no difficulties seeing the connection with my job as communications manager and my desire to write blogs here on HowToLiveWow.com.

Ask your close relatives when they see you passionate. You can also ask your colleagues, your best friend, an old school teacher… Very often, people around you instantly notice when you go from passive mode to passion mode.

Describe your perfect day

At the age of 25 (hey, that’s me for example), you’ve spent over 9,000 days on planet earth. 9,000 days, and not a single one has been the same. You’ve had good days and bad days. Some memorable, others quite forgettable. But every single day offered you the opportunity to figure out what your Perfect Day looks like. It’s something most people never thought about in the first place: What does your Perfect Day look like? Describe it, hour by hour, maybe even minute by minute. What time do you wake up? Next to whom? What kind of coffee do you drink? Where are you going for work? Are you even going? What’s the weather like? Once you know what your Perfect Day looks like, you can start moving towards it.

What do you want to do for other people?

Nearly every job is about doing something for another person. Whether you work at an airplane manufacturer, where you build something that helps people to get from A to B, or at Starbucks, where you serve people delicious coffee, or in a hospital, where you help making sick people healthy again… You do something for other people! That’s a great starting point to figure out your true passion. Ask yourself what you want to do for other people, rather than asking what job you should hunt for. Very often, you can distillate several job opportunities from the answer to this question.

Sometimes, you just end up in a situation you don’t know how to get out of. You have no idea how to solve a problem. Not a clue what to choose from the available options. What to decide? Where to go? The five questions below can help you to get to a better picture of the situation and often lead to a clue on where to go, helping you to avoid freaking out. Working through these questions can actually ease your mind in a ‘therapeutical’ way.

What am I doing? Ask yourself what it really is you are doing. Take a step back and try to describe for an outsider what your problem is, or what the decision is you are trying to make your mind up. Start by writing “I am currently…”

Why am I doing it? Ask yourself why you are doing what you are doing? Why do you feel bad? Why are you unable to make up your mind? Why are you eager to take a certain step? Try to explain yourself, again as a third person, why you are doing the things you do.

How do I feel about it? It happens to me at a regular basis, and it happens to many people very often. You are facing a certain situation or decision to take, and you instantly have a certain emotion. You feel bad, for example. When asked why, you simply don’t know. Your unconscious mind often already knows the answer and puts you in the corresponding emotional state. Considering that more than 90 percent of your thoughts runs through your unconscious mind, you might want to stick great value to the outcome of that process!

What is the worst that can happen to me? Very often, people are being lead by fear. They are afraid of a gazillion things, while most of these fears are either unrealistic or the odds of those fears becoming reality are small. Did you know that over 90 to 95 percent of an average person’s fear will never become reality? Never in their entire life! In your particular situation, what is the worst that can logically happen to you? And is it really thát bad? There are some good exceptions, but in most situations the worst consequences are often not as bad as you initially believed.

What is the best I can get out of this? This is where a bit of will and creativity comes around the corner. In almost everything you can find a positive dimension. Illness can lead to a more conscious and healthy lifestyle. The loss of a loved one can lead to better awareness and appreciation for life. A lot of happy and successful people came up with their best ideas at times of ultimate despair. If you know in detail what’s the best you can get out of a certain situation, it’s much easier to actually reach out for that!

Note: A friend of me wanted to add two interesting questions. ‘Where am I?’ and ‘Who are all those people?’ Interesting questions, and I might just feature them in a future blog post. Do you have any other questions that help you in virtually any kind of situation? Drop a response right below this blog post!

Photo by zizzy0104

Since a year or so, I am part of an online community called Under30CEO.com, bringing together young entrepreneurs, sharing ideas, challenges, practical business practice and lifestyle stories. Out of their article 50 Best Success Quotes Of All Time I selected my 12 favorite ones:

1. “Identify your problems but give your power and energy to solutions.”
Tony Robbins

2. “The only true wisdom is knowing that you know nothing.”
Socrates

3. ” If you are not willing to risk the usual you will have to settle for the ordinary.”
Jim Rohn

4. “When your life flashes before your eyes, make sure you’ve got plenty to watch.”
Anonymous

5. “The more you loose yourself in something bigger than yourself, the more energy you will have.”
Norman Vincent Peale

6. “People often say that motivation doesn’t last. Well, neither does bathing – that’s why we recommend it daily.”
Zig Ziglar

7.“Too many of us are not living our dreams because we are living our fears.”
Les Brown

8. “As long as you’re going to be thinking anyway, think big.”
Donald Trump

9. “A goal is a dream with a deadline.”
Napoleon Hill

10. “Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I’m not there, I go to work.”
Vinnie Rege

11. “A friendship founded on business is a good deal better than a business founded on friendship.”
John D. Rockefeller

12. “Logic will get you from A to B. Imagination will take you everywhere.”
Albert Einstein

What is your favorite success quote? Please leave yours in the response field below!

From, practically, the day we are born until the day we die, we are often told and taught that dreams are by definition unrealistic, unachievable flashes of the imaginary world that only exists in our heads. The almighty Wikipedia describes a dream as “images, thoughts and feelings experienced while asleep, particularly strongly associated with rapid eye movement sleep,” and continues to explain that “the contents and biological purposes of dreams are not fully understood.” Dreams are those things we have at night, and those who make their dreams come true are just lucky – in a way we will never be. Or…?

In this HowToLiveWow.com blog post, I’d like to look at the big ideas we have about our lives, to which we also refer as dreams. Think of the things you really want to do, have, feel, give and achieve. Very often, people never turn their dreams into reality. The key reason is often the solid believe that he or she cannot make those dreams come true. One who is sure he or she cannot make a dream come true, either

• is crazy for trying something he or she believes is not possible and then does not make the dream come true;
• is crazy for trying something he or she believes is not possible and does make the dream come true anyway, and thus has little self-confidence, is unrealistically modest or just has bad judgment over his or her capabilities.

We often don’t even start trying to make our dreams come true, because we fear trying and failing. None of the great leaders, successful scientists and brilliant business figures has ever achieved anything great without being confident he or she could do it.

To help yourself making your dreams coming true, you can follow these six steps.

1. Allow yourself to dream. The more clear the picture in your mind is, the easier it is to translate it to the outside world and make your dream come true;
2. Make a decision about your dream. In order to do this you must decide that you are willing to invest in your dream and let go of certain security security and fear;
3. Get into action. Write down what it requires to get from where you are now, to fully realizing your dream. You won’t get anywhere without knowing your starting point, your end destination and the dots you need to connect in between. Which steps do you need to take? Define them. Then take them. Don’t forget – many small steps are easier to take than a few giant leaps;
4. Expect delay and difficulty. You might have not learned what you need to know, or have not grown where you need to grow. Be patient (not to be confused with quitting or giving up) and work on the difficulties meanwhile. Delay is not denial, unless you decide so;
5. Expect to hit a dead end. When you think you hit dead end, you might actually hit the last barrier before reaching your goal. It’s where everyone else stops. Consciously decide that you are not going to let yourself to be stopped by this last barrier. It is the key difference between you and your competitors so far;
6. Recognize the deliverance. It is not the final destination or your goal that has brought you to where you are. It is your desire, and that what you have learned along the way, and the person you have become that has allowed your goal to become reality.

Photo by johnnyberg, post inspired by TimelessLessons.com

Related posts! If you enjoyed this post, you might also want to read;

• How To Pass The Elephant?
• Why Not Now?
• 101 Things I Want To Do In Life

Every day, we have our moments of insecurity. Giving a presentation to the board, asking a relative for a big favor, expressing your concern towards a friend or admitting a mistake… These are just a few examples of the – literally – thousands of reasons we can feel insecure. If you need an instant, quick fix for this problem, this post might be of help.

To a certain extend, insecurity is one of life’s valuable self-protection mechanisms. However, in most cases, insecurity is nothing but a burden that limits you in achieving your highest potential. Luckily, there are many ways to grow your confidence and (partly) get rid of insecurity. There are countless books written about self-confidence, thousands of coaches making a living out of dealing with other people’s insecurity and if the lack of confidence really has an overwhelming impact on your life, a psychologist might be able to help out.

However, I’d like to share with you a more instant and easy-to-adopt way to grow your confidence. I used this method myself in the past and shared it with several people around me who all feel more confident following this strategy:

1. First of all, make obvious to yourself what you are insecure about. For this occasion, let’s say you are about to leave home for a job interview and you would really, really, really like to get that job
2. Clearly describe the desired result for yourself in your mind. In this example, that would be: “I am going to get that job!”
3. Say it out loud: “I am going to get that job!”
4. Now, move to a mirror, preferably one that shows your entire body, but the top half of your body is enough to make this work. Look at yourself. Look yourself in the eyes
5. Create a fist with both of your hands. Then, put your thumbs on your pointing fingers, as if you are handing someone a bank note or use a remote control. Symmetrically point at yourself in the mirror with both hands, look yourself in the eyes and say, as if it was the only option possible and as many times as you like: “I am going to get that job!” Concentrate!

Then, while you are at your job interview, again create a fist with both of your hands and put your thumbs on your pointing fingers, just like you did before (watch out, don’t start saying “I am going to get that job” during a job interview, but think it). Most likely, you will feel that same confidence as when you said it over and over again in front of the mirror.

This process is called anchoring and changes the wiring of your brain as you do it more often. After using this gesture over a period of time, you will discover that you can pull out that ‘confidence card’ at any time, at any place and under any circumstance.

Do you have any experiences with this way of growing your confidence? Please leave a response below!

photo by nickolatte

Business and motivation guru Jim Rohn once explained that you are the average of the five people you are around most. Though you can discuss the term ‘average’ here, I do believe there is a lot of truth in it. Though some believe that this vision neglects the existence of our own consciousness, I actually believe that the characteristics of those five people say a lot about how conscious you take decisions about the people you spend, let’s say, 80 percent of your time with.

Do you remember your mom telling you: “I don’t want you to hang around with that kid anymore, he has bad influence on you!” That might have been true when you were 12, and it’s still relevant today. Those who you are spending your time with often affect your decisions on the short term and at least partly define who you become on the long run. You can hang around people who are committed to excellence, and you are becoming a different person compared to if you hang around those who are committed to their complaints and a status quo in life. They affect your state of mind, your motivation, your skills and knowledge and they can even affect your physical well-being.

Think of the five people you spend most of your time with. Who are they? What do they contribute to your life, your ambitions and your happiness? You might now come to the conclusion that you already surrounded yourself with inspiring, supportive, positive and wise people. In that case: Congratulations! If one or more of these people take you down, demotivate you and do not contribute to your success, happiness and well-being, some action might be required.

I am not telling you to recklessly eliminate someone from your life who might be critical at times, especially not when someone has the credibility to do so. Negative advise can still be valuable! And even if you should come to the conclusion that someone you are hanging out with a lot (in real or virtually) systematically fails to contribute to your life in a positive way, there is no need to aggressively throw the door into someone’s face. You can decide to gradually decrease time you spend together, or simply bring to the table that you feel you are moving into different directions.

What about people who you are not in touch with, but still connected with? I, for example, am very much connected with Tony Robbins, through his publications, and with Barack Obama, who’s strategies continue to inspire me. Even if it’s not possible to be personal friends with someone, you can be connected with them by virtue of exposing yourself to their work.

Also read the following blog post:

• 5 Tips: How To Meet Someone You Would Really Like To Meet
• External: You are the Average of 5 People You Spend the Most Time With by my colleague Celestine Chua

Photo by aprilbell