Sometimes, you just end up in a situation you don’t know how to get out of. You have no idea how to solve a problem. Not a clue what to choose from the available options. What to decide? Where to go? The five questions below can help you to get to a better picture of the situation and often lead to a clue on where to go, helping you to avoid freaking out. Working through these questions can actually ease your mind in a ‘therapeutical’ way.
What am I doing? Ask yourself what it really is you are doing. Take a step back and try to describe for an outsider what your problem is, or what the decision is you are trying to make your mind up. Start by writing “I am currently…”
Why am I doing it? Ask yourself why you are doing what you are doing? Why do you feel bad? Why are you unable to make up your mind? Why are you eager to take a certain step? Try to explain yourself, again as a third person, why you are doing the things you do.
How do I feel about it? It happens to me at a regular basis, and it happens to many people very often. You are facing a certain situation or decision to take, and you instantly have a certain emotion. You feel bad, for example. When asked why, you simply don’t know. Your unconscious mind often already knows the answer and puts you in the corresponding emotional state. Considering that more than 90 percent of your thoughts runs through your unconscious mind, you might want to stick great value to the outcome of that process!
What is the worst that can happen to me? Very often, people are being lead by fear. They are afraid of a gazillion things, while most of these fears are either unrealistic or the odds of those fears becoming reality are small. Did you know that over 90 to 95 percent of an average person’s fear will never become reality? Never in their entire life! In your particular situation, what is the worst that can logically happen to you? And is it really thát bad? There are some good exceptions, but in most situations the worst consequences are often not as bad as you initially believed.
What is the best I can get out of this? This is where a bit of will and creativity comes around the corner. In almost everything you can find a positive dimension. Illness can lead to a more conscious and healthy lifestyle. The loss of a loved one can lead to better awareness and appreciation for life. A lot of happy and successful people came up with their best ideas at times of ultimate despair. If you know in detail what’s the best you can get out of a certain situation, it’s much easier to actually reach out for that!
Note: A friend of me wanted to add two interesting questions. ‘Where am I?’ and ‘Who are all those people?’ Interesting questions, and I might just feature them in a future blog post. Do you have any other questions that help you in virtually any kind of situation? Drop a response right below this blog post!
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Remco – you are a genius! You made your point so simply and elegantly.
Also – I had a wise minister who once stated simply “The first step in getting mud off your shoes – is getting out of the mud”! Often one emotional step out of a situation gives one a fresher prospective.
I would add a question once asked by a wise friend of mine: ‘Don’t you have ANYTHING BETTER to do?..’
That can help you sober your mind when you feel stuck and find yourself doing the same thing over and over again, or spending too much effort on something that doesn’t bring the equal result.
P.S. The question ‘Who are all these people?’ has in fact been partly featured here: http://www.howtolivewow.com/2009/08/26/you-are-as-the-people-you-hang-out-with/
Partly – because it could be also read like ‘WHO are all these people?’ How well do we actually know people who surround us, even those whom we see every day?.. We are tempted to judge by first experience and make possibly fast conclusions – because it’s the easiest. Such thinking is also encouraged by modern technologies which tend to simplify every process. Well, that’s the environment we live in… However, in someone who’s right by your side there might be a world seeking expression! And – just think about it! – you might actually be the first one to explore that world, which, perhaps, will be a discovery to this someone as well… And, just like this, someone might discover the world in you – something you couldn’t even imagine…
As to ‘Where am I?’, this question is a stair to the next one, ‘Where do I want to be?’ – and that’s here: http://www.howtolivewow.com/2009/09/17/describing-your-best-possible-future/
Not a specific question, but more likely a mindset.
I always convince myself of two things; first; whatever I decide after thinking things thoroughly through, at that given moment I think my decision it is the best option to go for. Second – and most important – ; how other people might react on my decision can upset you. However, I can’t imagine that people wake up and think “Lets do something to upset Remco (in this case). So, what gives me a great deal of comfort is the thought that the reaction of other people on your decision is – after carefully considering – their best option at that given moment. Nobody is deliberately going for the worst option right?
Keep up the good work Sietse!