You Are As The People You Hang Out With

friendshadows_by_aprilbell_sxcBusiness and motivation guru Jim Rohn once explained that you are the average of the five people you are around most. Though you can discuss the term ‘average’ here, I do believe there is a lot of truth in it. Though some believe that this vision neglects the existence of our own consciousness, I actually believe that the characteristics of those five people say a lot about how conscious you take decisions about the people you spend, let’s say, 80 percent of your time with.

Do you remember your mom telling you: “I don’t want you to hang around with that kid anymore, he has bad influence on you!” That might have been true when you were 12, and it’s still relevant today. Those who you are spending your time with often affect your decisions on the short term and at least partly define who you become on the long run. You can hang around people who are committed to excellence, and you are becoming a different person compared to if you hang around those who are committed to their complaints and a status quo in life. They affect your state of mind, your motivation, your skills and knowledge and they can even affect your physical well-being.

Think of the five people you spend most of your time with. Who are they? What do they contribute to your life, your ambitions and your happiness? You might now come to the conclusion that you already surrounded yourself with inspiring, supportive, positive and wise people. In that case: Congratulations! If one or more of these people take you down, demotivate you and do not contribute to your success, happiness and well-being, some action might be required.

I am not telling you to recklessly eliminate someone from your life who might be critical at times, especially not when someone has the credibility to do so. Negative advise can still be valuable! And even if you should come to the conclusion that someone you are hanging out with a lot (in real or virtually) systematically fails to contribute to your life in a positive way, there is no need to aggressively throw the door into someone’s face. You can decide to gradually decrease time you spend together, or simply bring to the table that you feel you are moving into different directions.

What about people who you are not in touch with, but still connected with? I, for example, am very much connected with Tony Robbins, through his publications, and with Barack Obama, who’s strategies continue to inspire me. Even if it’s not possible to be personal friends with someone, you can be connected with them by virtue of exposing yourself to their work.

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