Through research for my book, I figured out a consistent set of eight elements that determine whether someone is happy and successful or not. There are two sets consisting of four elements.
The first set of four elements are present in everyone’s life, rich or poor, depressed or happy, etc. Though, in the lives of successful people, they play a different and less significant role. Ok, the first set:
- To be loved: We all want to be loved. Without love, in whatever disguise, people start to do strange things. They become depressive, frustrated, or even violent
- Taking: We have to take. Without taking, it is almost impossible to live a normal life, and don’t even get started on a happy and successful life! Just think about your salary or paycheck…
- Uncertainty: People need uncertainty. We need surprises. We need tomorrow to be different from today and yesterday, we need doubt to be critical and we need uncertainty to be able to evaluate potentially risky situations
- Autopilot: Scientists figured out that our brain stores thoughts as little schemes, containing concepts and connecting lines between them. Thanks to these schemes, we can operate pretty well without thinking too much. We also need routine, starting from the sleeping rhythm our body needs to the calendar. In other words, we want to live on autopilot, or at least be able to switch to it
Successful or not, all people have these needs and carry these concepts with them from the day they are born. However, successful people often have four more elements incorporated in their lives. Some live those principles unconciously, others made the deliberate choice to give them a prominent place in their lives.
- To love: We all want to be loved, but by default, we do not have such a strong desire to give love, whether it is to a relative, a pet or a passion. Successful people often learned how to love, not in the first place themselves. To love oneother, one needs to love him- or herself!
- Giving: Taking is so easy, but giving can be a lot more fun. Giving gives as well. Satisfaction, for example. And it brings you respect. Instead of taking, wouldn’t it be fantastic if everything is being given to you? That won’t happen when you only take…
- Certainty: Successful people are usually confident and certain about what they are doing. They take decisions with certainty, they are certain about their skills and most importantly, they are certain about where they are taking themselves in life!
- Growth: Happy and successful people often work on personal development and growth (like you are doing right now, as you are reading this blog post). Countless people have said to me: “Come on, I don’t believe in all this self-development crap.” Fine for them, but the facts show that especially successful people often spend a great deal of time on studying and training. There is also consensus amongst successful people that a good mentor – someone who already walked the path you are aiming to walk – is essential on the road to success!
To help you analyzing the status of your own elements of a successful life, I can offer you another free worksheet. The sheet helps you to define your weak elements, so you can focus on these points. Enjoy!
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Brilliant!!
One of the best blogs here, in my humble opinion.
The trick is, we mostly think and focus on these things separately. But the way you’ve put them together makes it obvious how they complement each other, and that the pairs can’t be divided – otherwise life would be incomplete. That’s what makes this post a great one!
However, certainty and uncertainty could, or even should, be swapped, to my mind.
Whereas things from the first set are something that doesn’t require any action – just receiving or following the flow – those which make the second set do require some efforts (until these things turn into something natural, like breathing). Certainty, or security, is a basic need and, I think, should belong to the first 4. That’s what the routine gives – a confined comfortable zone where people always feel confident about their skills, their decisions, etc. It’s like a swimming pool – not too deep, the water is calm, the land is always near – you won’t drown for sure.
But only really strong, successful people dare and swim to the open sea. And only at this level they actually NEED uncertainty – realizing that this is a risk, accepting that they can lose, but knowing for sure that they will acquire something anyway, and that they will always be able to get up and move forward.
Though maybe you’ve had other way of thoughts?..
P.S. And where’s the promised worksheet? :P